In his first Epistle Saint Peter begins to stir things up with regard to what is expected of a believer in his or her very personal life relationships. In 3.1-2 we read: Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands; It is a very natural leap to be hearing the apostle speak of a subservient role for the wife to the husband just because that’s the way it’s done at this time, in this place, and within this cultural setting.
We are not free to assume this to be the position of the elders at all. The place of submission is one which is to be adopted by everyone within the Christian community—regardless of position or role. And the clear purpose for assuming that position is so that those to whom we are in submission will come to know the love of Christ: so that, if any of them do not believe the word, YET! We are all submitted to Jesus.
It then never has to be a war of words by one trying to convince the other partner of the value of following Christ Jesus in all of life—including the role of husband or wife: they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, It is in the willingness to submit to the husband which will make the difference in how that relationship is able to be played out for God, becoming a matter of watching Jesus always win.
But the victory will only come to the one to whom submission is given as a choice and gift of honor: when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. It is never because of the husband’s superiority in life or in the family, but because Jesus is the husband of both of them. The Lord’s way of doing and saying things is always better on everyone, but that can only be known from a position of submission to each and all.